Emerging From the Rubble......

Although we were both online the other night, Nathan and I didn't speak to one another. In fact, since I declined his visitation offer last week, he has not contacted me since. And the winner is... Yes--I win. I was so confident that he didn't really care about me that I knew he wouldn't put any effort forth in trying to mend things between us. Secretly, I was willing to fix things--to patch up the shaky vessel and set it back on life's turbulent rapids as its caring and determined navigator... But, I wanted to see if he similarily had even any inkling of that faith. He does not. So I have won. However, this victory is bittersweet because it's obvious that if for one instant he had picked up that ball, I would have run with it. I would have at least tried. Well, maybe he'll find a woman with those traits that are just so...admirable...in himself.. Ha! At any rate, my new online friend "Jack" and I have been hitting it off--big time. Already I know he is lightyears beyond Nathan in his capacity to care about others. Also, Jack's mentality is anything but superficial--he knows what really matters in life and unlike Nathan isn't hung up on looks or 'how great' he is. At any rate, we are both dying to meet one another, but I cannot promise to be anything but his friend until this whole Nathan fiasco has officially come to a close. I do believe though that it is only a matter of time now before my victory is confirmed.