A New Dawn

I have once again been horrible with my posting. Now, three months later, I suppose it is about time to fill you in on the intense events that have captured my attention while away. About 2 months ago, I met an intriguing guy named Vince online. For some reason, I was drawn to him and had to find out more. So I sent him a message. He got back to me via instant messenger shortly afterwards. Vince seemed like a nice guy, but he also appeared to think I only wanted to 'get with him'. He requested my picture and I sent it to him. As he wasn't too appalled, he said we should get together. What this 'get together' would entail was somewhat shaky, but deciding to go with my gut feeling, I resigned myself to believing he was good-natured, regardless of the sexual inuendo he expressed online. So, I rashly agreed to meet him at his apartment for a movie. (This was in December.) Well, I was very nervous and when I got there, he instantly wanted me to sit on the couch with him. It wasn't until the movie got going that I realized this was a fold-out couch. We ended up in a 'lying down' position, and as he wrapped his arm around me, his leg followed... Then as if that weren't enough, he began to move his hand up under my shirt to fondle my breast. By then, I clearly expressed my consternation. He was obviously used to a different type of girl. He realized, then, that I wasn't that type of girl and asked me what my longest relationship was. When I told him, I quickly blurted out the fact that I was a virgin. No, I was not there for sex. Naturally, this fact shocked Vince, and he asked me why I had remained a Virgin all this time. I revealed to him my mantra--I'm waiting for the right guy. While he seemed rather disappointed, he agreed not to 'do anything with me' if I was uncomfortable. By then it was 1:30 and I'd decided it was time to leave. After leaving that night, I figured there'd be no chance of him ever wanting to see me again. But still I pursued him--left him messages online about when he wanted to go out next. Finally, two days later he responded, expressing an interest in my idea of going bowling. This became our first real date, and it went well. Finally I got to see him as my gut had known he was--a kind, caring gentleman. Subsequently over the course of that month, we did things together and had fun. Then new years came around and I decided to hang out at his place again. Things again turned sexual, but this time there was a magnetism between us--we really liked each other--so things went much further. It progressed to the point of him wanting to have sex with me--again. I clarified the fact that I wanted to wait. His disappointment was evident, and out of guilt, I decided to consent to bathing with him. Well, things got a little intense from there, and he led me into his bedroom. Once there, I provided a scared consent to his desires. At once, he started thrust it upon me, and I implored he get a condom. Coming back with a condom, he began to get near and dear. It wasn't long before I told him to stop--I asked him how he felt about me. When he couldn't answer anything more than he liked me, we both knew it was time to stop. He was very understanding and supportive of my wishes. I realized that sex wasn't what he was really after either. We began to grow closer. We hung out whenever possible. I met some of his relatives at a basketball tournament. We are now seeing each other whenever we can, even if it is once a week. Yesterday, he met my family for the first time, and it seemed to go well, so I am happy. However, he still wants to be intimate with me. His wish would be if we 'did the deed' on Valentine's Day. However, although he now really really likes me, that still isn't what I am looking for with my first time. Secretly, between you and me, I think I am falling for him. His gentle, caring manner, the way he holds me close, how he thinks of others beyond himself, the genuine honesty and loyalty, the obvious warmth that comes from him---they are rendering me powerless under his spell. However, I don't know if he feels that same bond. He has been very respectful of my decision up to this point and continues to be so. I am just hoping that he feels the same way about me--without the thought of sex.